God gave me a second chance

March 21, 2011

Around Noon I called LJ telling him I was having chest pains, I told him I think its just heart burn. As I was waiting in the parking lot for Dakota to get out of school it was getting worse. I came home took some heart burn medicine and sat on the couch. It wasn't getting any better, so I thought some fresh air might help. I take Dakota and Eli outside. I sit down with my crosswords and enjoy the air.

Then it hit me.
GASP GASP GASP
I suddenly couldn't breathe. Oh my God, am I dying?
GASP GASP

I try to pick up Eli and take him inside. I couldn't lift him. I start to panic, which makes my breathing worse. I call LJ, he is on the Skyway on his way. But it was gonna be a while. PANIC
I call my mom, she JUST walked thru the door from the beach, she was on her way.
LJ made it home first and took the kids, My mom ran me to the Hospital. St Pete General. I thought it might have had something to do with just having a baby, or it was just a bad case of heartburn.

I had an EKG done, it came back fine. I had a chest Xray done, it looked okay. I had a CT scan done. They found something. But they couldn't tell what. It was either Pneumonia or a blood clot. They had to keep me over night so they could do a VQ Scan in the morning to find out. They started me on antibiotics and shots in my belly to thin my blood. Treating me for both ailments just in case.

VQ Scan the next day showed it was pneumonia in my lower right quadrant of my lungs. They STOP the blood thinners and continue me on antibiotics. They want to keep me one more night just in case.

That night Pastor Art came to see me. he is the one who married LJ and I. It was nice to pray with him. Shortly after he left I was traumatized by the events that took place.

Right in front of my hospital door, across the hall was a loud man. He has visitors ALLLL day. And you could hear his booming voice all the way down the hall. Lord, please let him go to sleep soon, I am so tired! And he is so loud.

I am ashamed and sad.

He gets up out of his bed and collapses in the hall way. CODE BLUE CODE BLUE.
Oh My Gosh. Please don't die. I start to pray.

Nurses Doctors Everyone in the hall, stood around my door. I had front row seats to a show I didn't want to see. They worked on him for and hour. And that was it. He died. Right there. Right there in front of me. Right were, just a while earlier he was joking about the Lightening Games with his roommate. Right there where I had asked the Lord to make him be quiet. I had a gut ache. I called LJ and asked him to pray with me.

Then I sat and watched as his family approached the room. I watched their faces as they were told what happened. I wanted to look away. But I couldn't. I watched as they entered the room to see his lifeless body. I watched as his wife collapsed by his side.

I don't want to die here. I want to go home. I miss my kids.

March 24th -
I go home with the diagnosis of Pneumonia. I was so relieved. The doctor came in one more time before I left and gave me a script for two antibiotics. And then dropped the bomb. "Gall Stones"
Say what? No one ever mentioned Gall Stones?? He said they happen, and not to worry unless I am in extreme pain. Umm okay, but weird I have been here three days and no one mentioned them up until now. I told him I was confused. he walks out. Ummm, okay. Just send me home!
I ask the nurse to look at my chart and tell me about the Gall stones. He said there is NOTHING in my chart about that. I wonder if he read someone elses chart. Get me out of here.

Get home to a VERY happy family. Hugs and kisses all over the place. So glad to be home with my babies!

Lj fills my prescriptions. Comes home with just one. Where is the other one? Well the pharmacist says the two meds the doc gave me combined could have given me an instant heart attack. Say WHAT?? What the hell kind of hospital is this place??


March 26th 2011

LJ takes the kids for a walk. I wasn't feeling well still and wanted to stay inside. They aren't gone long, but while they were out. It hit me again.
GASP GASP GASP.

I run to the bedroom, crawl in bed.
GO AWAY< GO AWAY
I don't want to go back in there. Please Lord Make it go away!

LJ walks thru the door takes one look at me and says LETS GO, NOW!
We go to Morton Plant this time.

I need another CT scan which is risky, cuz I just had one and the radiation could kill me.
This phrase :could kill me:, is one I hear a LOT in the next month.

I decide to do it, cuz the benefits out weighed the risks.

The Doctor comes back, sits down. Its never good when they actually sit down.
Its NOT pneumonia.
Ok, so what is it?
Bilateral Pulmonary Embolisms in both lungs.
Ok so what is that?
Blood clots in each lung.
It could kill me.
TEARS. TEARS. TEARS.
They have to keep me. NO NO NO
I do not want to stay I have a new born baby, I cant stay again.
I have to stay, it could kill me.
They start the blood thinners - shots in my belly immediately.

WHY? LORD, WHY?
Another 4 days stay in the hospital. Lots of pain meds, lots of shots in my belly, lots of blood taking. I leave battered and VERY VERY bruised.

I come home still in pain for several weeks. Going to get blood drawn weekly which always ends in very huge bruises from the blood thinners.
I will be on those for a year. Which thankfully is far less then being on the for life.
I have to change my diet. I have to change my lifestyle.
But I am alive. And I am with my kids.

APRIL 9TH 2011
Back to the Emergency room, pain is so fierce I cant take another day.
They do an xray and still see fluid in my lungs. They want me to stay for observation. NO WAY. Send me home.
I go home with more pain meds.

April 12th 2011
I have a docs appt to check my levels. i tell her I am still in so much pain. She gives me a steroid shot.

RELIEF.

Its a miracle. I felt relief! I mean the pain was still there, but I could breathe and move and Oh Praise the Lord, i felt relief!





April 19th 2011
Today -
I feel better. I still feel pain. but I feel so much better. I almost feel normal.
But today I got my first real period. This is going to be a problem. I am bleeding like a deer got gutted in my bathroom. I have never seen so much blood. This is scary. But I know its because of the thinners. And I do have my 6 week check up with my OB next week. So I will check with him if I am okay. As long as I am not dizzy I am not worried. But dang, how can someone lose so much blood? Sorry I know that's gross, but hey, your the one still reading!! ;)

Thank you for all the continued support and prayers. I appreciate all the help everyone has given me in this time and I will pay it forward as much as I can. You are all a blessing to me!