Awakening

I have dreamed about this post for years. I never knew exactly how I would write it or what I would say, or how people would take it. I will start by telling you how I came to decide to write this.

A while back a family at our church lost their teenager. They went to a night service to come home to find him passed. He was in heaven with our Father. My heart was broken in pieces for them. I didnt recognize their name, so I looked them up on facebook. When I saw the teenagers face I knew him. I had seen him around, but didnt personally "know" him. It broke my heart more. I followed his mothers page to see any updates on his case. Her calmness, her peace. It... it... it was amazing. If I could only be half the woman she is...

She is so trusting in our Lord, it seems she has never doubted. She is an inspiration.

So keeping up with her posts, she recently wrote one about a child she lost. And how upon speaking with the Lord, he showed her it would have been a girl. So promptly she named her. And with that she announced that anyone who has lost a child should name them.

I lost a child. On January 7th 2002. I lost a baby. It was 6 weeks old in utero. I do not know whether it would have been a boy or a girl.

But this post made me lie awake all night. I should honor my lost child and name him/her. But will people think me a fool?

At this point, i dont care what people think of me. I am naming this baby. He or she was MINE.

Journey Christian. I came to me as I scrolled through countless unisex names. I ALWAYS wanted a child named Journey. And here he or she is. And how lucky am I to know I will see them again in heaven. Thank you Lord.

So there you have it. If you ask me how many children I have, I have three here on earth and a Journey in heaven.

Until we meet my sweet angel!


R.I.P. Christian, sings amongst the angels...