Birthdays Birthdays Birthdays!

August is filled with birthdays for my family! Including Dakota's and Mine.
This month has been hard for us financially, LJ hasn't had much work recently. But we aren't sinking... YET! So we opted for Dakota's birthday to just have dinner at Mom's, where we combined my brother, Zach and Dakota's birthday parties together! My brother is now 19 ( OMG) and Dakota is now 5 ( Are you kidding me?).

This is crazy to me, because I remember Zach being born like it was yesterday! Lets relive it, shall we.

Mom and I were moving from an apartment to a house. Mom grabbed a way too heavy box to put in the back of the car. Mom screams a blood curdling scream, I thought she saw a cockroach so I jump in to the back of the car saying, "WHAT?!?!?!" She says, " My water broke." OMG. What do we do, what do we do! We drive to the nearest hospital, Suncoast. She gets checked in, my Aunt Cathy comes racing down to be with us. Me and my Aunt pace back and forth in the room trying to remain calm, I am only 13. Mom asks me to check under the sheet, she feels like the baby is coming out. I obey. I lift sheet, I see a head, I freak out! I bolt! I run up and down the hallway looking for a doctor, nurse, janitor, whoever! Run back in room, I saw no one. Aunt Cathy pulls it together and helps deliver baby, I run back into hallway freaked out, found doc and he finished it up. What the heck just happened here!! Zachary Taylor was born on August 15th 1991. I was so excited to be a big sister! He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life! Even if he did look like a raccoon! He had blackened eyes from being stuck 'down there' for so long. But he was precious! And I love him! He will always be my biggest little brother!

Fast forward a few years to 2005. Dakota Lee Merritt was born August 14th, shall we relive it? Sure!

Went to Zachs birthday party at Holiday Inn Sunspree, In St Petersburg. Swam around for a while and complained of Braxton Hicks for hours. Decided to go home, wasn't feeling well. I drove. All the way home. With what I thought was Braxton Hicks. Yeah. So we get home get Sky in bed, Everyone was sleeping. 3am. I sit straight up in bed, its time. I am in intense pain. Went to bathroom. Water hadn't broke yet. So I called the doc. He says I am not ready yet, I say I am. He says if I go to the hospital they will just send me home. I didn't listen. LJ and I packed up and headed out. Dusty was staying with us so he stayed home with Sky. Got to the hospital went to put on my gown, and give a PP sample. It was clear. My water broke on the way. Do I know my body or what?!?! Anyways, I get in the room, everyone is called and comes out to the hospital. I wanted my mom and MIL to be in the room with us, and they allowed it. The anesthesiologist had a heck of a time getting the Epidural in, but finally got it. But I was pumped up with something else too, cuz I saw things, crazy things LOL. Anywho, I kept telling the nurses he was coming, they kept telling me no. I told them, yes. they check me and say no again, he is too high. I feel like he is falling out. Finally my doc shows up and said I am not ready, I say yes I am. He crosses his arms leans against the wall, and says well push then. I say okee dokee. I push. He jumps off wall and says Oh My Gosh, get my scrubs. Dakota was on his way. TOLD YA SO! Dakota was born at 8:04am. He was beautiful, and I knew instantly he had Down Syndrome. I was crying out of pure happiness. Everyone else cried out of fear. I never saw so many tears. They took him out of the room, to check and make sure everything was physically okay with him. People streamed in asking if I was okay. I started to panic, whats wrong with him I kept asking. Finally my mom said, honey he has down syndrome. I said, I know, but whats WRONG with him?? That's it, she said. Relief. They brought him back in and I held him and loved him. The doctor came in, while it was just me and Dakota to fill out his paper work. He asked if I was okay. I said, I am in heaven. He says, you are gonna be a great mom. I smile, look at Dakota and say, thanks!

Then back in 1978, I was born. August 22nd at 10:43am. I have no idea what happened that day, you would have to ask my mom. I do know that I had a head full of jet black hair. And I do know, my mom and dad were very excited. I do know that I was very very loved. And still am.

Ironically enough, I share a birthday with my Aunt Karen, and Dakota shares a birthday with my Aunt Doreen. Both on my Dads side. All these August birthdays had me thinking, what month were we conceived was it a holiday or something. It goes to December, the cold month, Christmas. We were Santa babies! Too funny!

Well that was enough reminiscing for one day! Hope you enjoyed!
Happy Birthday to all you August born out there!

Doctors Visit Number 2ish

Is it just me or do I have THEE worst doctors office ever?

So I went to my OBGYN on the 3rd. The same OBGYN I have seen for like 16 years. Yeah. Well I was so excited because I knew I was getting my first ultrasound. I even switched nights so that I could have Skylar there for this momentous event. Lj took the day off. We were all so over the top thrilled to see this little tic tac on the screen.

So we are in the waiting room bright and early at 8:30am. I packed the kids some food while they waited, a banana and yogurt with a juice box. Skylar spilled her yogurt all over the chair. Thrilling.

• They call me up to the desk for the first time to get my insurance info and the 12 page forms I printed out at home and prefilled out.
• They call me up to the desk for a second time cuz the doc ( see previous post) failed to fax over the referral they said they faxed.
• They called me up to the desk a third time to tell me that my insurance was out of network and I would have to reschedule. That they would call and see if my doctor ( see previous post) would over ride it.

SO I reschedule, get kids in car and start out of the parking lot all disappointed. We were all very disappointed.
I turn on to Central Ave and my phone rings, its my OBGYN, yay I thought they gave the okay I might be able to just turn around!

NOT!

They did not give the okay. I have to go somewhere else. Some where else? But, but, but, no one knows me like they know me...
Tears. While driving.

Get home, contact doctor ( see previous post) to get new referral. Get hung up on. Call back, again ask for referral. Moron receptionist tells me she already faxed it. I explain to her that, that was my regular OB, I need the OB they work with. Moron receptionist tells me like I am two years old: We. Already. Faxed. It. To. The. Doctors. My face gets red. I am angry. I tell her, I understand what you are saying. But you don't understand what I am saying. I cant be seen there. I need an OB you guys work with that will take my insurance. Again she tells me she faxed it. So I say loudly, GREAT, where did you fax it? Cuz I don have a fax machine. So it surely wasn't to me. She gives me a number. It was my regular OB. ::sigh:: So I explain AGAIN! I need a new OB. One that takes my insurance. Moron receptionist says something about Gulfcoast OBGYN, SUPER I shouted, progress! SO I ask for their number and location. I got a number and was told Seminole Blvd. I ask her if she can send a referral there. She says she already did. ::sigh:: I was done with this conversation. SO I kindly said thanks, and let her go.
I call Gulfcoast. Busy. For an hour. Finally get someone on the line and its an answering service. Make an appt. Two more weeks away. August 17th. My first visit. Doubt there will be an ultrasound. Bummed. But I am going to stress, that I feel like I am high risk, so I can go somewhere else. I lay it in the Lords hands. He obviously didn't want me going to my regular place, so here I am. Leaving up to Him once again. Wish that got easier. Still worried. Such is life.

Well that's it for now. Will keep ya posted!

Doctors Visit

So, I went to my primary doctor yesterday to get a referral for my OBGYN. And this is how it went downhill..

First the doctor who appeared to be about 8 months pregnant herself, asked me if I am taking prenatal vitamins... Nope, I cant take them they make me vomit every time. She tells me, i really need to at least take folic acid. I say okay.

She then asks me if I had any complications in any of my other pregnancies. Nope nothing major, but I did mention I had 2 special needs kids. So she says, " What do you mean special needs, like Downs or something?" I say, yep as a matter of fact I do have a son who has down syndrome, and a daughter who has Aspergers.

So she says, oh my, you will need an amniocentesis immediately. And say No thank you. She stopped typing looked up at me like I was a woman with two heads, and says, excuse me? I said, no thank you. She said" are you kidding me?" I say no ma'am. She says why wouldn't you get one, I say why would I. She says, you do know your chances are higher for Down Syndrome, now that you have one. I said yes ma'am. She said, "then i am recommending you get an amnio. I again ( third time) say no thank you. She looks at me in shock and horror. She said" well its your body. I said yep, mine and my unborn childs.

Then she tells me well you need to at least take folic acid to help the brain development. ( this is funny ) Funny, because if my child has down syndrome, its done already, no folic acid is gonna change that. But anyways. I say yes ma'am, I will take the folic acid. ( no I haven't taken it yet).

Then she asks me when my last period was. I say June 11th. She looks at me and throws her pen down. Yes, throws her pen down, and says its too soon to know I am pregnant. I said - my at home test begs to differ. So I had to take a test there. They drew blood. ( called me today to tell me the results were positive, umm duh) She tells me, "IF" I am pregnant then I am 5 weeks, and I say nope, just 4. She looks up and counts in her head and says Whatever.

So I am irritated at this point. And the icing on the cake??

She tells me in " MY ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE" I need to be very careful. WTFFFFF. Since when is 31 old? Did I miss that memo? Is it only allowed to have babies in your 20's? Advanced Maternah who?? Really? Did she just call me old and moldy?

::sigh::

What I got from this appointment:

I am an idiot for wanting & loving my child, down syndrome or not.
I am an idiot for not taking prenatals.
I am an idiot for thinking I am pregnant.
I am an idiot who is old and moldy.
I never even got my referral.


Then as I am leaving she tells me, well we wont have to see you again until the baby is born. I say, Thanks.

Don't think I am going there again....

Well, here it is, the big news...

We are pregnant...

First thing in your mind is probably.. OH NO! Will it have down syndrome?
First thing in our mind.. Praise Jesus, we are pregnant.

To ease your mind, we are not at all worried about down syndrome or aspergers or cerebral palsy or heart defects or cleft palate. Just like any other expectant parent, we are just happy to be pregnant. Whatever happens good or bad is in our Lords hands and we will be praising Him with what we get. On that note, I will not know much about the babies health until further along, and I will NOT be getting an amniocentesis. Not for all the money in the world. Dakota and Skylar are blessings in our life, and given to us for a reason and so shall this child.

We are due around March 18Th. So I should be nice and pleasantly plump and ready to grub on Christmas. Just sayin'. I am not sick with morning sickness yet. ( KNOCK ON WOOD) and am feeling great! There is a lot to be done in the up and coming months, including getting a new car that can hold us all. As some of you know, I have a ford focus hatchback that can barely fit us in it. There is no way I can fit two car seats and Skylar in the back. This will be a sad day as I LOVE my bright orange car. I don't know what we are going to do yet. But I am guessing, ugh, a minivan or something. Something cheap and cheap on gas. We are going to have to get Jude puppy lessons, because right now he is really rough and doesn't know his own strength. And that scares me.

Ok well just wanted to update those who actually read this. Will keep you posted!!

Freedom is not free.

Independence day came and went. We were wondering if it was ever going to stop raining. It did stop for the ten minutes it took for me to drive to the fireworks tent at the last minute. When I got there standing in line with 50 other hopeful people. It started to rain again. I made it home and the rain let up just enough for me to decide to nominate LJ to man the grill for some ribs and sausage. As my husband stood out in the rain, growling under his breath at me for making him go out there... we ran out of propane. Ah yes, this is a typical holiday in our house. If it can go wrong, it most certainly will go wrong.
SO i finished up dinner in the oven. It was still delicious.
At around 9pm we went outside for the extremely over priced fireworks that I bought at the very last minute.
Dakota was scared to death of the booms and bangs. He shook like a leaf. Skylar had her hands over her ears the entire time, complaining it was too loud.
Ahhhh, isnt this great! What a fun time with my family... NOT.
So we hurried thru our measly pile of way too expensive fireworks, so we could get back inside where it wasnt so loud and there were no bugs and we were safe.

Another fourth of July came and went. Happy Independence Day everyone!

Venting...

I can handle you disappointing me,
I can handle you making me wait around,
I can handle you breaking my heart and tearing it into shreds.
But I CANNOT handle you disappointing my daughter, or making her wait around, or breaking her heart.

It just infuriates me that the "new" family is more important to him then his first born. I just want to scream and rant and rave. but I wont. I will remain stoic and strong for my little girls sake. She doesn't belong with him anyways. She belongs with us, the ones who love her unconditionally. All I can do is pray for him, and hope he sees the light one day before its too late. But i fear I have been saying that for the last ten years...

Ok I am done. Thanks!

School's Out for Summer

Ok, So I haven't really kept up with this blog like I wanted to. Truth is, I am just not that exciting! The past couple of weeks have been uneventful, but I am thankful. We had my youngest brother over last weekend to attend church with us, which was totally awesome! He liked it so much he stayed another night to attend Life Group with us! I was stuck tending the little kids, but he says he had a great time and even participated, which is more then I did, my first time! It was so nice getting to spend time with him! We even bought him a new Quest bible, which he seemed REALLY excited about, in fact he barely put it down! Praise Jesus!

Dakota graduated on Wednesday from Preschool at Sexton. It was bittersweet. It is so hard to fathom that he is going to be five years old this year. My little baby is turning into a little boy. Where has the time gone? Skylar successfully finished 4th Grade and is now in her final year of elementary school. Although she did get one "F" on her report card in writing, which we kinda expected. But everything else was A's and B's. I have decided that I am going to do one day a week through out the summer, of some sort of teaching, so that she doesn't lose track. I decided to start today with bible studies that I found online. Today was the story of Abraham and Sarah having a child at age 99. Skylar was reluctant to go outside to do it, but when we got out there and I started reading - she really listened. When I did the study and asked the questions, she got all of them right. It was amazing! She had 2 worksheets to do and happily did them, Dakota had one to do too. He happily colored his. When I said it was time to go back inside, Skylar wanted to finish coloring her worksheet. All I could do was smile, to see God's light shine in them.

We also went to the Taste of Pinellas this weekend, which was hot but filling. I had so much food, I thought I might burst! LJ scored a t shirt from crabby bills. My mom and step dads restaurant had booths there, so we stopped there first and filled up on their stuff. Then as we started out to try other booths I got pooped on. GRRRRR. Stupid seagulls! But all in all it was a great day! With great food!

So that was my last week in a nutshell. Hope yours was equally as pleasant!