Panic!

Thursday morning started like any other. I got up to my alarm, woke up my son. ( I do not have my daughter on Thursday mornings.) And started my day. Got in the shower, gave my son some breakfast, got dressed, got him dressed. Left to bring him to school. Came home. My husband happened to be home this day, so I chit chatted with him while I got ready for Women in the Word, a bible study at my church.

Seeing as I am pregnant, I decided before I left I would go potty.

I stood up and yelped. Blood. Oh no.

"What do I do, what do I do???"

Panic.

Ok, first pull your self together, get your pants up and get out of the bathroom.
Hubby at least is calm and says, "Just call your doctor." Ok, ok. Take a breath.

Call the docs office. They tell me a doctor will call me back.

Tick, Tick, Tick.

An hour later no call.

Panic.

Call my mom. She says call them back, don't wait around.

Ok. I go to the bathroom again to see if it was a fluke. More blood, now clots. ACK!

Call the doctor back, tell them I am panicking! They say they don't have an OB on staff today that they have to call one of the docs at home. "SO CALL THEM!" Ok, they will call me back.

Tick, Tick, Tick.

Finally, they call back. "Its fine, happens all the time. Just rest."

SERIOUSLY? I don't even get a call back from the doctor? The receptionist tells me I am fine? Umm, ok.

I feel okay, so LJ and I run off to a store before we pick up the kids. Have the urge to go potty again.
Even MORE blood, a lot more.

Panic!

Didn't even call the docs, rushed off to the Emergency room.
LJ left to get the kids from school so he could drop them off at a friends and join me in case we got bad news.

Hospital searched for a heartbeat.

Panic!

Finally he found it. Utter relief! Checked me out the rest of the way, said he didn't really know where it is coming from, but the baby sounds fine, i can go home. Bed rest for 2 weeks.

LJ calls, says he just got Dakota and is headed to my friends, I tell him I am done and going home. He is irritated, but relieved.

Today is Saturday and I am still spotting, but not as bad as the other day. I still feel fine. Praying it is nothing and Gods will, will be done.

This is my third pregnancy, you would think I would be a pro by now, but I am not. These little things scare me to death! Hoping this is just a little blip in the radar that turns out to be nothing. But I cant help but still being nervous.

First Day of School

WOO HOO! First day of school! Yeah Baby!

Well not really. As excited as I was, I love being with my kids so the first day is always bittersweet for me. Dakota started Kindergarten! Skylar started 5th grade. They are in two different schools, which makes it interesting for picking up and dropping off. Dakota is gonna be late no matter what I do. ::sigh::

So the first day I always take the kids myself. Usually Sky rides the bus. We ran Sky to her class first seeing as she is the closest. She was wicked excited to go back this year. She loves her teacher, and I have a hankering for her too! So she happily made her way into the class found her seat and was over me taking pictures. Ah yes, this is the year that she becomes embarassed of her dear ol mom. ::sigh:: So i gave her mucho kisses - Hey if I am gonna embarass her - I am gonna EMBARASS her! Off to bring Kota man to his first day..

Of course we were late. But hey, so what! I dropped him off and his class was on the way to PE already, so no pics, no kiss, out the door he happily went with his teachers. Okay. Hold it together. BOOOO HOOOOOOO. This momentous occasion cut short cuz we were late. Better luck tomorrow I guess. Sniffle sniffle.

So begins my day child free. I did nothing. i watched the clock til it was time to get them. I am pathetic. I know it will get easier. ::sigh:: What has my life come to?

Fast forward to picking the kids up. I have to run and pick up Kota as fast as possible, because Skys bus comes early and SOMEONE has to be home to get her off the bus! SO I rush to go get Dakota, wait in the car circle line in 95 degree heat with no air. This is gonna be fun. I see him, OMGosh I see him, A big smile on my face. I cant wait to snuggles him! He sees me, MOOOOMMMM he shouts, I wave, impatiently waiting my turn to get him. MOOOOOMMMMM.... Yes baby, just wait one minute. MOMMMMMMM. Awwwwwwww. Yes I get out and run and grab him. I am pathetic! He hugs me so tight, and it makes all my patheticness worth it. He says, HIII MOOOMMMMMM. Hi baby, mommy missed you! BYYYEEE BYEEESSSS. Yes baby, we are going buh byes. Big grin. I love my little man.

Driving home to rush and make it there for Sky to be there. Perfect timing. Had about 10 minutes to get situated before she made it home. I decide I am gonna let her be a big girl and get off the bus herself. The bus pulls up. Dakota runs to the window and says DEEE DEEEEE. Which is what he calls her. So we watch waiting for her to come off the bus all excited. The bus pulls away, no Skylar. PANIC. OMGosh where is my child. I freak out and call the school. I have them looking and calling for her. Here comes bus second time around, I RUNNNNNN out there to get her. She was so upset. The driver was rude. I guess she asked who lived here to raise thier hand. Well Skylar is not one to be outgoing enough to raise her hand and wave it all around. She raised her hand but not enough for the driver to see. Poor thing. What a heck of a first day! My daughter had a panic attack, well not really. I think I was more upset then her. Whew, first day done and over. Now to open the backpacks and fill out all the piles of paperwork. Writers cramp!

So that was our first day! What a fun year this will be! ;)

Birthdays Birthdays Birthdays!

August is filled with birthdays for my family! Including Dakota's and Mine.
This month has been hard for us financially, LJ hasn't had much work recently. But we aren't sinking... YET! So we opted for Dakota's birthday to just have dinner at Mom's, where we combined my brother, Zach and Dakota's birthday parties together! My brother is now 19 ( OMG) and Dakota is now 5 ( Are you kidding me?).

This is crazy to me, because I remember Zach being born like it was yesterday! Lets relive it, shall we.

Mom and I were moving from an apartment to a house. Mom grabbed a way too heavy box to put in the back of the car. Mom screams a blood curdling scream, I thought she saw a cockroach so I jump in to the back of the car saying, "WHAT?!?!?!" She says, " My water broke." OMG. What do we do, what do we do! We drive to the nearest hospital, Suncoast. She gets checked in, my Aunt Cathy comes racing down to be with us. Me and my Aunt pace back and forth in the room trying to remain calm, I am only 13. Mom asks me to check under the sheet, she feels like the baby is coming out. I obey. I lift sheet, I see a head, I freak out! I bolt! I run up and down the hallway looking for a doctor, nurse, janitor, whoever! Run back in room, I saw no one. Aunt Cathy pulls it together and helps deliver baby, I run back into hallway freaked out, found doc and he finished it up. What the heck just happened here!! Zachary Taylor was born on August 15th 1991. I was so excited to be a big sister! He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life! Even if he did look like a raccoon! He had blackened eyes from being stuck 'down there' for so long. But he was precious! And I love him! He will always be my biggest little brother!

Fast forward a few years to 2005. Dakota Lee Merritt was born August 14th, shall we relive it? Sure!

Went to Zachs birthday party at Holiday Inn Sunspree, In St Petersburg. Swam around for a while and complained of Braxton Hicks for hours. Decided to go home, wasn't feeling well. I drove. All the way home. With what I thought was Braxton Hicks. Yeah. So we get home get Sky in bed, Everyone was sleeping. 3am. I sit straight up in bed, its time. I am in intense pain. Went to bathroom. Water hadn't broke yet. So I called the doc. He says I am not ready yet, I say I am. He says if I go to the hospital they will just send me home. I didn't listen. LJ and I packed up and headed out. Dusty was staying with us so he stayed home with Sky. Got to the hospital went to put on my gown, and give a PP sample. It was clear. My water broke on the way. Do I know my body or what?!?! Anyways, I get in the room, everyone is called and comes out to the hospital. I wanted my mom and MIL to be in the room with us, and they allowed it. The anesthesiologist had a heck of a time getting the Epidural in, but finally got it. But I was pumped up with something else too, cuz I saw things, crazy things LOL. Anywho, I kept telling the nurses he was coming, they kept telling me no. I told them, yes. they check me and say no again, he is too high. I feel like he is falling out. Finally my doc shows up and said I am not ready, I say yes I am. He crosses his arms leans against the wall, and says well push then. I say okee dokee. I push. He jumps off wall and says Oh My Gosh, get my scrubs. Dakota was on his way. TOLD YA SO! Dakota was born at 8:04am. He was beautiful, and I knew instantly he had Down Syndrome. I was crying out of pure happiness. Everyone else cried out of fear. I never saw so many tears. They took him out of the room, to check and make sure everything was physically okay with him. People streamed in asking if I was okay. I started to panic, whats wrong with him I kept asking. Finally my mom said, honey he has down syndrome. I said, I know, but whats WRONG with him?? That's it, she said. Relief. They brought him back in and I held him and loved him. The doctor came in, while it was just me and Dakota to fill out his paper work. He asked if I was okay. I said, I am in heaven. He says, you are gonna be a great mom. I smile, look at Dakota and say, thanks!

Then back in 1978, I was born. August 22nd at 10:43am. I have no idea what happened that day, you would have to ask my mom. I do know that I had a head full of jet black hair. And I do know, my mom and dad were very excited. I do know that I was very very loved. And still am.

Ironically enough, I share a birthday with my Aunt Karen, and Dakota shares a birthday with my Aunt Doreen. Both on my Dads side. All these August birthdays had me thinking, what month were we conceived was it a holiday or something. It goes to December, the cold month, Christmas. We were Santa babies! Too funny!

Well that was enough reminiscing for one day! Hope you enjoyed!
Happy Birthday to all you August born out there!

Doctors Visit Number 2ish

Is it just me or do I have THEE worst doctors office ever?

So I went to my OBGYN on the 3rd. The same OBGYN I have seen for like 16 years. Yeah. Well I was so excited because I knew I was getting my first ultrasound. I even switched nights so that I could have Skylar there for this momentous event. Lj took the day off. We were all so over the top thrilled to see this little tic tac on the screen.

So we are in the waiting room bright and early at 8:30am. I packed the kids some food while they waited, a banana and yogurt with a juice box. Skylar spilled her yogurt all over the chair. Thrilling.

• They call me up to the desk for the first time to get my insurance info and the 12 page forms I printed out at home and prefilled out.
• They call me up to the desk for a second time cuz the doc ( see previous post) failed to fax over the referral they said they faxed.
• They called me up to the desk a third time to tell me that my insurance was out of network and I would have to reschedule. That they would call and see if my doctor ( see previous post) would over ride it.

SO I reschedule, get kids in car and start out of the parking lot all disappointed. We were all very disappointed.
I turn on to Central Ave and my phone rings, its my OBGYN, yay I thought they gave the okay I might be able to just turn around!

NOT!

They did not give the okay. I have to go somewhere else. Some where else? But, but, but, no one knows me like they know me...
Tears. While driving.

Get home, contact doctor ( see previous post) to get new referral. Get hung up on. Call back, again ask for referral. Moron receptionist tells me she already faxed it. I explain to her that, that was my regular OB, I need the OB they work with. Moron receptionist tells me like I am two years old: We. Already. Faxed. It. To. The. Doctors. My face gets red. I am angry. I tell her, I understand what you are saying. But you don't understand what I am saying. I cant be seen there. I need an OB you guys work with that will take my insurance. Again she tells me she faxed it. So I say loudly, GREAT, where did you fax it? Cuz I don have a fax machine. So it surely wasn't to me. She gives me a number. It was my regular OB. ::sigh:: So I explain AGAIN! I need a new OB. One that takes my insurance. Moron receptionist says something about Gulfcoast OBGYN, SUPER I shouted, progress! SO I ask for their number and location. I got a number and was told Seminole Blvd. I ask her if she can send a referral there. She says she already did. ::sigh:: I was done with this conversation. SO I kindly said thanks, and let her go.
I call Gulfcoast. Busy. For an hour. Finally get someone on the line and its an answering service. Make an appt. Two more weeks away. August 17th. My first visit. Doubt there will be an ultrasound. Bummed. But I am going to stress, that I feel like I am high risk, so I can go somewhere else. I lay it in the Lords hands. He obviously didn't want me going to my regular place, so here I am. Leaving up to Him once again. Wish that got easier. Still worried. Such is life.

Well that's it for now. Will keep ya posted!

Doctors Visit

So, I went to my primary doctor yesterday to get a referral for my OBGYN. And this is how it went downhill..

First the doctor who appeared to be about 8 months pregnant herself, asked me if I am taking prenatal vitamins... Nope, I cant take them they make me vomit every time. She tells me, i really need to at least take folic acid. I say okay.

She then asks me if I had any complications in any of my other pregnancies. Nope nothing major, but I did mention I had 2 special needs kids. So she says, " What do you mean special needs, like Downs or something?" I say, yep as a matter of fact I do have a son who has down syndrome, and a daughter who has Aspergers.

So she says, oh my, you will need an amniocentesis immediately. And say No thank you. She stopped typing looked up at me like I was a woman with two heads, and says, excuse me? I said, no thank you. She said" are you kidding me?" I say no ma'am. She says why wouldn't you get one, I say why would I. She says, you do know your chances are higher for Down Syndrome, now that you have one. I said yes ma'am. She said, "then i am recommending you get an amnio. I again ( third time) say no thank you. She looks at me in shock and horror. She said" well its your body. I said yep, mine and my unborn childs.

Then she tells me well you need to at least take folic acid to help the brain development. ( this is funny ) Funny, because if my child has down syndrome, its done already, no folic acid is gonna change that. But anyways. I say yes ma'am, I will take the folic acid. ( no I haven't taken it yet).

Then she asks me when my last period was. I say June 11th. She looks at me and throws her pen down. Yes, throws her pen down, and says its too soon to know I am pregnant. I said - my at home test begs to differ. So I had to take a test there. They drew blood. ( called me today to tell me the results were positive, umm duh) She tells me, "IF" I am pregnant then I am 5 weeks, and I say nope, just 4. She looks up and counts in her head and says Whatever.

So I am irritated at this point. And the icing on the cake??

She tells me in " MY ADVANCED MATERNAL AGE" I need to be very careful. WTFFFFF. Since when is 31 old? Did I miss that memo? Is it only allowed to have babies in your 20's? Advanced Maternah who?? Really? Did she just call me old and moldy?

::sigh::

What I got from this appointment:

I am an idiot for wanting & loving my child, down syndrome or not.
I am an idiot for not taking prenatals.
I am an idiot for thinking I am pregnant.
I am an idiot who is old and moldy.
I never even got my referral.


Then as I am leaving she tells me, well we wont have to see you again until the baby is born. I say, Thanks.

Don't think I am going there again....

Well, here it is, the big news...

We are pregnant...

First thing in your mind is probably.. OH NO! Will it have down syndrome?
First thing in our mind.. Praise Jesus, we are pregnant.

To ease your mind, we are not at all worried about down syndrome or aspergers or cerebral palsy or heart defects or cleft palate. Just like any other expectant parent, we are just happy to be pregnant. Whatever happens good or bad is in our Lords hands and we will be praising Him with what we get. On that note, I will not know much about the babies health until further along, and I will NOT be getting an amniocentesis. Not for all the money in the world. Dakota and Skylar are blessings in our life, and given to us for a reason and so shall this child.

We are due around March 18Th. So I should be nice and pleasantly plump and ready to grub on Christmas. Just sayin'. I am not sick with morning sickness yet. ( KNOCK ON WOOD) and am feeling great! There is a lot to be done in the up and coming months, including getting a new car that can hold us all. As some of you know, I have a ford focus hatchback that can barely fit us in it. There is no way I can fit two car seats and Skylar in the back. This will be a sad day as I LOVE my bright orange car. I don't know what we are going to do yet. But I am guessing, ugh, a minivan or something. Something cheap and cheap on gas. We are going to have to get Jude puppy lessons, because right now he is really rough and doesn't know his own strength. And that scares me.

Ok well just wanted to update those who actually read this. Will keep you posted!!

Freedom is not free.

Independence day came and went. We were wondering if it was ever going to stop raining. It did stop for the ten minutes it took for me to drive to the fireworks tent at the last minute. When I got there standing in line with 50 other hopeful people. It started to rain again. I made it home and the rain let up just enough for me to decide to nominate LJ to man the grill for some ribs and sausage. As my husband stood out in the rain, growling under his breath at me for making him go out there... we ran out of propane. Ah yes, this is a typical holiday in our house. If it can go wrong, it most certainly will go wrong.
SO i finished up dinner in the oven. It was still delicious.
At around 9pm we went outside for the extremely over priced fireworks that I bought at the very last minute.
Dakota was scared to death of the booms and bangs. He shook like a leaf. Skylar had her hands over her ears the entire time, complaining it was too loud.
Ahhhh, isnt this great! What a fun time with my family... NOT.
So we hurried thru our measly pile of way too expensive fireworks, so we could get back inside where it wasnt so loud and there were no bugs and we were safe.

Another fourth of July came and went. Happy Independence Day everyone!