The Car Accident

Friday, October 15th, 2010.

This was the day I was the most scared I have EVER been in my life.

The day started great, we went to the beach because we had tons of family in town. Now, I wasn't supposed to go, because the day before Dakota was diagnosed with a ruptured ear drum. And he was supposed to keep his ear dry for a few days. But I never listen. So we went anyways. We had a great day, splashing in the gulf and then back to the pool. We had to get Skylar home because it was her dads weekend so we left around 3:30. I figured this would give us enough time to get her home and showered before he came at 5pm.

We were traveling north on Pasadena. And for those of you who know me, you know my fear of bridges. I hate them. I constantly have dreams that I am falling off of a bridge in my car and I have to somehow get my kids out without drowning. I know this is awful, but it is my BIGGEST fear in life.

So we are starting to go over the bridge on Pasadena. I am trying to pay attention.

I hear a loud Screeeeeeeeeeching of tires. The SUV in front of me has slammed on his brakes. I have plenty of room to slam on mine. But...

My car keeps sliding. We were on the metal part of the drawbridge and we slide...

I knew we were going to impact the car in front, so I made a choice.

I swerved into the right lane.

BAM.

Hit once, car pushed into guard rail. My worst nightmare... OMGosh will it come true?? We were facing the water, I instantly looked back at Kota, his neck is not strong....

BAM.

Hit again. My head slams against the head rest. OWWWWWW. Dear Lord just get me off this bridge.

The second hit, pushed us back even with the road. I pushed the gas petal and made my way off the bridge. Panicked and crying I kept asking Skylar and Dakota is there were okay, did they have owwies? Everyone seemed fine, but my head was killing me. The woman who hit me pulled up next to me in her fancy SUV.

My first call was to LJ who had left 5 minutes before me. TURN AROUND we were just hit, I am so scared.

My second call was to 911. I was screaming crying and in a panic. The woman next to me rolled down her window, are you okay. Me - I hit my head pretty hard. She rolls her window back up and pulls up away from me.

Paramedics arrive, police arrive, LJ arrives. My head was spinning. Skylar was fine she said nothing hurt, she played her DS thru the whole accident. Thank God. Dakota cant tell me if he is okay. Though he appears to be fine, I still am paranoid about his neck. The ambulance takes Dakota and I to Bayfront. The woman drives away fine with a small dent in her front bumper, claiming to have errands to run. Yes, Seriously.

My grandparents came and picked up Skylar so she could go to her Dads as planned. I checked on her all weekend, she was fine.

At the hospital, LJ, his mom and dad and my mom all show up. I demanded they check out Dakota first. He was fine. no injuries. I was having cramping from the seat belt. Off to ultrasound with LJ. Little Eli had his hands behind his head all relaxed. Glad someone is relaxed i say to the tech.

All in all we are all okay. I have a huge Goose Egg behind my ear where I hit the head rest. Some back pain. But I am alive and I didn't face my worst fear. We made it off the bridge. My car was totalled. Undrivable.

Reality sets in. What am I going to do.

I called in my claim to my insurance just to find out, that my "full coverage" did not include collision. They will not cover my damage. Nor will the woman who hit me. They said it was my fault. My car was "out of control". I am stuck. I still owe about 10 payments on the car, and it isn't drivable. Seriously?

We went through several options, we tried to trade it in. Didn't work out. Tried to look up cars on Craigs List, didn't work out. took the car to our family mechanic - who we trust will all we have...

He tells us, that where the frame is bent, isn't really too bad. All we have to do is pull out the fender, and it will be okay for short trips. No highway. No driving over 45. No one sits on that side of the car.
If we get hit in that same spot it could be fatal. EEK. But it is fixable.

Today is Tuesday, October 19th, 2010.
LJ fixed the car, well kinda. It drives. It isn't pretty but it works. Everyone who knows me, knows how much I love my car. I am emotionally attached. and so very excited it is still mine and it still drives.

Praise the Lord for small miracles.



The accident:

The fix by LJ:

Please let this be a lesson, please check your insurance and make sure you have collision. It will save you THOUSANDS in the long run.

Praise the Lord for our lives. Praise the Lord for an answer, and quickly to our prayers.

Tampa Bays Annual BUDDY WALK - Raising Awareness for Down Syndrome

This is our 6th Year attending. This is our 4th Year winning a trophy for our shirts. YAY! We got first place this year. God gave me a mind of a genius, haha, just kidding. But he did deliver the idea to me and I ran with it.

So, the idea behind the shirt?

Dakota is going through this "thing". When he gets over stimulated he has these episodes. These episodes look very similar to seizures. We only know they are NOT seizures because we had him tested. Twice. His body stiffens his eyes roll back and he looks, well, just weird. We have gotten pretty used to them. but they happen everywhere, while I am grocery shopping, while we are dining out, when we are visiting friends, when we are at playgrounds. And people stare. They stare HARD. Some of them point and whisper. Some of them look appalled. It makes me feel like a circus freak show. And it isn't fair to my child. And I so badly want to walk up to them and say QUIT STARING, JUST ASK! Ask me what my son has, don't ask me what is wrong with him.
So, that saying, made it to the front of the shirt. IN Very Large PRINT. So those who stare can read it clearly. And on the back, are some of the top things I get asked, when they do ask.

Yes, Dakota has Down Syndrome
No, it is not a disease.
Yes, he is handicapped.
No, he is not retarded.
Yes, he is a sweet boy.
No, he is not sweet all the time.
Yes, we are very blessed.
No, we have no regrets.

You would be amazed at what people have come up and said or asked me. And my son is only 5. Imagine the people who have children with Down Syndrome who are much older. They have had many more years to be offended. When I told a few people about the design for this year, they said, "Well aren't you afraid of offending people?" UMMMM, Are they NOT offending me by staring?? Hmm, just saying...

So, this year we had a minor dilemma with our shirts. The woman who usually does them for us - cancelled. Which was not really a big deal, until it came down to crunch time and I had no idea what I was going to do.

This is when the Good Lord stepped in. Thank you Heavenly Father, I love you !!

An old friend of mine, with whom I haven't spoken to in over 6 years, popped up on my facebook. Saying he wanted to help. Wouldn't you know this man orchestrated a whole deal to get us shirts and have them paid for. He found people who didn't even know our family or know about Down Syndrome, or know about the Buddy Walk, to just donate money. Thank God for having people like that still out there. So a big shout out to all those who assisted us in our shirts this year!

The shirts came out awesome, but do you know what is more awesome??
Dakotas Dream Team DOUBLED in size this year!

Look at us all! What an impact we made! All of these peoples hearts have been softened to Dakota and the Down Syndrome cross he has to bear! How glorious!

If it weren't for all the people in this picture, I do not know how I would survive. They are AMAZING friends through and through! Thank you all for supporting us!

My Grandparents even came! They had just drove all the way down from Massachusetts, the previous night, Were exhausted, but still managed to make it bright and early the next morning! Thanks Nana and Papa L.

People say Ignorance is Bliss. But its really not. Its shameful. You know what is bliss??

Having Dakota in my life.

Thank you God for choosing me to be his mom. I wont let You down!



UPDATE: We made it into the Clearwater Gazette!
http://www.clearwatergazette.com/20101014/buddy.html
Check us out!

It's a ..... BABY!

Yesterday, October 4th, L.J. and I found out the sex of our baby.

Here is what happened - you know it wasn't just as easy as that, right?!?!

L.J. had to work that day, so my mom got to go with me. She says, " I am so excited I could pee my pants." Yes, she really did say that. Yes I really was embarrassed! We went to the imaging place, because my doctors office doesn't do it there. The nice woman who did the sonogram was so kind. Especially with my mother there jumping around like she had ants in her pants. She told me as I laid down that I am not far along enough, and she may not be able to tell the sex. UGH, disappointment, as this is the only sonogram my insurance will pay for. I told her, " I will seriously have a melt down on this table, please try hard!" Then, I added, " No, seriously, I am not kidding." So she is looking around and says, " Ugh, the umbilical cord is in between its legs, I wont be able to tell." UGH, disappointment. So, she gets a call. She says she has to take it because some important stuff was going on. When she got up, I looked at my mom. I took my hand and mushed and pushed and poked my belly. Please, baby, cooperate! She came back from her call, and tried one more time. AHA, she says. Aha, what?!?!?!

Sono Tech: "I see it"
Me: See what????
Sono Tech: I see it!
My mom: OMGosh!
Me: WHAT?!?!?!
Sono Tech: Its a penis!
Me: Praise The Lord!
Mom: ~crying~
Me: ~Tears of Joy~
Mom: I KNEW it!
Me: YESSSSSSSSSS
Sono Tech: Its def a boy!

So there we go...

L.J. and I are having a BOY!

His name will be Eli Simpson Merritt

Eli, because we wanted something biblical, and because of my Mom of course, Elizabeth.
Simpson, because my Dad has no boys, and we wanted to honor him and my grandfather by passing down the name.

Well, Eli, it was so nice to see you. I cant wait for you to see me.

Oh also, they upped my due date to March 10th, because he was measuring big. They said he was measuring 17 weeks and 4 days. I thought I was 16 weeks and 3 days. Interesting. Either I am having a huge baby, or I was further along then I suspected.

So there ya have it!
It's a boy!

Panic!

Thursday morning started like any other. I got up to my alarm, woke up my son. ( I do not have my daughter on Thursday mornings.) And started my day. Got in the shower, gave my son some breakfast, got dressed, got him dressed. Left to bring him to school. Came home. My husband happened to be home this day, so I chit chatted with him while I got ready for Women in the Word, a bible study at my church.

Seeing as I am pregnant, I decided before I left I would go potty.

I stood up and yelped. Blood. Oh no.

"What do I do, what do I do???"

Panic.

Ok, first pull your self together, get your pants up and get out of the bathroom.
Hubby at least is calm and says, "Just call your doctor." Ok, ok. Take a breath.

Call the docs office. They tell me a doctor will call me back.

Tick, Tick, Tick.

An hour later no call.

Panic.

Call my mom. She says call them back, don't wait around.

Ok. I go to the bathroom again to see if it was a fluke. More blood, now clots. ACK!

Call the doctor back, tell them I am panicking! They say they don't have an OB on staff today that they have to call one of the docs at home. "SO CALL THEM!" Ok, they will call me back.

Tick, Tick, Tick.

Finally, they call back. "Its fine, happens all the time. Just rest."

SERIOUSLY? I don't even get a call back from the doctor? The receptionist tells me I am fine? Umm, ok.

I feel okay, so LJ and I run off to a store before we pick up the kids. Have the urge to go potty again.
Even MORE blood, a lot more.

Panic!

Didn't even call the docs, rushed off to the Emergency room.
LJ left to get the kids from school so he could drop them off at a friends and join me in case we got bad news.

Hospital searched for a heartbeat.

Panic!

Finally he found it. Utter relief! Checked me out the rest of the way, said he didn't really know where it is coming from, but the baby sounds fine, i can go home. Bed rest for 2 weeks.

LJ calls, says he just got Dakota and is headed to my friends, I tell him I am done and going home. He is irritated, but relieved.

Today is Saturday and I am still spotting, but not as bad as the other day. I still feel fine. Praying it is nothing and Gods will, will be done.

This is my third pregnancy, you would think I would be a pro by now, but I am not. These little things scare me to death! Hoping this is just a little blip in the radar that turns out to be nothing. But I cant help but still being nervous.

First Day of School

WOO HOO! First day of school! Yeah Baby!

Well not really. As excited as I was, I love being with my kids so the first day is always bittersweet for me. Dakota started Kindergarten! Skylar started 5th grade. They are in two different schools, which makes it interesting for picking up and dropping off. Dakota is gonna be late no matter what I do. ::sigh::

So the first day I always take the kids myself. Usually Sky rides the bus. We ran Sky to her class first seeing as she is the closest. She was wicked excited to go back this year. She loves her teacher, and I have a hankering for her too! So she happily made her way into the class found her seat and was over me taking pictures. Ah yes, this is the year that she becomes embarassed of her dear ol mom. ::sigh:: So i gave her mucho kisses - Hey if I am gonna embarass her - I am gonna EMBARASS her! Off to bring Kota man to his first day..

Of course we were late. But hey, so what! I dropped him off and his class was on the way to PE already, so no pics, no kiss, out the door he happily went with his teachers. Okay. Hold it together. BOOOO HOOOOOOO. This momentous occasion cut short cuz we were late. Better luck tomorrow I guess. Sniffle sniffle.

So begins my day child free. I did nothing. i watched the clock til it was time to get them. I am pathetic. I know it will get easier. ::sigh:: What has my life come to?

Fast forward to picking the kids up. I have to run and pick up Kota as fast as possible, because Skys bus comes early and SOMEONE has to be home to get her off the bus! SO I rush to go get Dakota, wait in the car circle line in 95 degree heat with no air. This is gonna be fun. I see him, OMGosh I see him, A big smile on my face. I cant wait to snuggles him! He sees me, MOOOOMMMM he shouts, I wave, impatiently waiting my turn to get him. MOOOOOMMMMM.... Yes baby, just wait one minute. MOMMMMMMM. Awwwwwwww. Yes I get out and run and grab him. I am pathetic! He hugs me so tight, and it makes all my patheticness worth it. He says, HIII MOOOMMMMMM. Hi baby, mommy missed you! BYYYEEE BYEEESSSS. Yes baby, we are going buh byes. Big grin. I love my little man.

Driving home to rush and make it there for Sky to be there. Perfect timing. Had about 10 minutes to get situated before she made it home. I decide I am gonna let her be a big girl and get off the bus herself. The bus pulls up. Dakota runs to the window and says DEEE DEEEEE. Which is what he calls her. So we watch waiting for her to come off the bus all excited. The bus pulls away, no Skylar. PANIC. OMGosh where is my child. I freak out and call the school. I have them looking and calling for her. Here comes bus second time around, I RUNNNNNN out there to get her. She was so upset. The driver was rude. I guess she asked who lived here to raise thier hand. Well Skylar is not one to be outgoing enough to raise her hand and wave it all around. She raised her hand but not enough for the driver to see. Poor thing. What a heck of a first day! My daughter had a panic attack, well not really. I think I was more upset then her. Whew, first day done and over. Now to open the backpacks and fill out all the piles of paperwork. Writers cramp!

So that was our first day! What a fun year this will be! ;)

Birthdays Birthdays Birthdays!

August is filled with birthdays for my family! Including Dakota's and Mine.
This month has been hard for us financially, LJ hasn't had much work recently. But we aren't sinking... YET! So we opted for Dakota's birthday to just have dinner at Mom's, where we combined my brother, Zach and Dakota's birthday parties together! My brother is now 19 ( OMG) and Dakota is now 5 ( Are you kidding me?).

This is crazy to me, because I remember Zach being born like it was yesterday! Lets relive it, shall we.

Mom and I were moving from an apartment to a house. Mom grabbed a way too heavy box to put in the back of the car. Mom screams a blood curdling scream, I thought she saw a cockroach so I jump in to the back of the car saying, "WHAT?!?!?!" She says, " My water broke." OMG. What do we do, what do we do! We drive to the nearest hospital, Suncoast. She gets checked in, my Aunt Cathy comes racing down to be with us. Me and my Aunt pace back and forth in the room trying to remain calm, I am only 13. Mom asks me to check under the sheet, she feels like the baby is coming out. I obey. I lift sheet, I see a head, I freak out! I bolt! I run up and down the hallway looking for a doctor, nurse, janitor, whoever! Run back in room, I saw no one. Aunt Cathy pulls it together and helps deliver baby, I run back into hallway freaked out, found doc and he finished it up. What the heck just happened here!! Zachary Taylor was born on August 15th 1991. I was so excited to be a big sister! He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life! Even if he did look like a raccoon! He had blackened eyes from being stuck 'down there' for so long. But he was precious! And I love him! He will always be my biggest little brother!

Fast forward a few years to 2005. Dakota Lee Merritt was born August 14th, shall we relive it? Sure!

Went to Zachs birthday party at Holiday Inn Sunspree, In St Petersburg. Swam around for a while and complained of Braxton Hicks for hours. Decided to go home, wasn't feeling well. I drove. All the way home. With what I thought was Braxton Hicks. Yeah. So we get home get Sky in bed, Everyone was sleeping. 3am. I sit straight up in bed, its time. I am in intense pain. Went to bathroom. Water hadn't broke yet. So I called the doc. He says I am not ready yet, I say I am. He says if I go to the hospital they will just send me home. I didn't listen. LJ and I packed up and headed out. Dusty was staying with us so he stayed home with Sky. Got to the hospital went to put on my gown, and give a PP sample. It was clear. My water broke on the way. Do I know my body or what?!?! Anyways, I get in the room, everyone is called and comes out to the hospital. I wanted my mom and MIL to be in the room with us, and they allowed it. The anesthesiologist had a heck of a time getting the Epidural in, but finally got it. But I was pumped up with something else too, cuz I saw things, crazy things LOL. Anywho, I kept telling the nurses he was coming, they kept telling me no. I told them, yes. they check me and say no again, he is too high. I feel like he is falling out. Finally my doc shows up and said I am not ready, I say yes I am. He crosses his arms leans against the wall, and says well push then. I say okee dokee. I push. He jumps off wall and says Oh My Gosh, get my scrubs. Dakota was on his way. TOLD YA SO! Dakota was born at 8:04am. He was beautiful, and I knew instantly he had Down Syndrome. I was crying out of pure happiness. Everyone else cried out of fear. I never saw so many tears. They took him out of the room, to check and make sure everything was physically okay with him. People streamed in asking if I was okay. I started to panic, whats wrong with him I kept asking. Finally my mom said, honey he has down syndrome. I said, I know, but whats WRONG with him?? That's it, she said. Relief. They brought him back in and I held him and loved him. The doctor came in, while it was just me and Dakota to fill out his paper work. He asked if I was okay. I said, I am in heaven. He says, you are gonna be a great mom. I smile, look at Dakota and say, thanks!

Then back in 1978, I was born. August 22nd at 10:43am. I have no idea what happened that day, you would have to ask my mom. I do know that I had a head full of jet black hair. And I do know, my mom and dad were very excited. I do know that I was very very loved. And still am.

Ironically enough, I share a birthday with my Aunt Karen, and Dakota shares a birthday with my Aunt Doreen. Both on my Dads side. All these August birthdays had me thinking, what month were we conceived was it a holiday or something. It goes to December, the cold month, Christmas. We were Santa babies! Too funny!

Well that was enough reminiscing for one day! Hope you enjoyed!
Happy Birthday to all you August born out there!

Doctors Visit Number 2ish

Is it just me or do I have THEE worst doctors office ever?

So I went to my OBGYN on the 3rd. The same OBGYN I have seen for like 16 years. Yeah. Well I was so excited because I knew I was getting my first ultrasound. I even switched nights so that I could have Skylar there for this momentous event. Lj took the day off. We were all so over the top thrilled to see this little tic tac on the screen.

So we are in the waiting room bright and early at 8:30am. I packed the kids some food while they waited, a banana and yogurt with a juice box. Skylar spilled her yogurt all over the chair. Thrilling.

• They call me up to the desk for the first time to get my insurance info and the 12 page forms I printed out at home and prefilled out.
• They call me up to the desk for a second time cuz the doc ( see previous post) failed to fax over the referral they said they faxed.
• They called me up to the desk a third time to tell me that my insurance was out of network and I would have to reschedule. That they would call and see if my doctor ( see previous post) would over ride it.

SO I reschedule, get kids in car and start out of the parking lot all disappointed. We were all very disappointed.
I turn on to Central Ave and my phone rings, its my OBGYN, yay I thought they gave the okay I might be able to just turn around!

NOT!

They did not give the okay. I have to go somewhere else. Some where else? But, but, but, no one knows me like they know me...
Tears. While driving.

Get home, contact doctor ( see previous post) to get new referral. Get hung up on. Call back, again ask for referral. Moron receptionist tells me she already faxed it. I explain to her that, that was my regular OB, I need the OB they work with. Moron receptionist tells me like I am two years old: We. Already. Faxed. It. To. The. Doctors. My face gets red. I am angry. I tell her, I understand what you are saying. But you don't understand what I am saying. I cant be seen there. I need an OB you guys work with that will take my insurance. Again she tells me she faxed it. So I say loudly, GREAT, where did you fax it? Cuz I don have a fax machine. So it surely wasn't to me. She gives me a number. It was my regular OB. ::sigh:: So I explain AGAIN! I need a new OB. One that takes my insurance. Moron receptionist says something about Gulfcoast OBGYN, SUPER I shouted, progress! SO I ask for their number and location. I got a number and was told Seminole Blvd. I ask her if she can send a referral there. She says she already did. ::sigh:: I was done with this conversation. SO I kindly said thanks, and let her go.
I call Gulfcoast. Busy. For an hour. Finally get someone on the line and its an answering service. Make an appt. Two more weeks away. August 17th. My first visit. Doubt there will be an ultrasound. Bummed. But I am going to stress, that I feel like I am high risk, so I can go somewhere else. I lay it in the Lords hands. He obviously didn't want me going to my regular place, so here I am. Leaving up to Him once again. Wish that got easier. Still worried. Such is life.

Well that's it for now. Will keep ya posted!