Ok, So this is a question I didnt anticipate when I named Eli, so I will explain...
My Sons name is Eli Simpson Merritt.
NO - that is not hyphenated.
Simpson is his middle name.
LJ and I struggled for a boys name this time around. We really couldnt agree on anything. I really liked Malachi, but he didnt. We knew we wanted something biblical. But they are all pretty old school. I loved the name Jude, but that was our dogs name.
After going around and around we both liked Eli. NOT Elijah. There are SOOOOO many Elijahs. I dont like common stuff. So we went with Eli. Not only is it biblical, but my mothers name is Elizabeth. And hey we are all about honoring people we love around here.
Simpson is my maiden name. I was born, Melanie Joy Simpson. I lost that name when I got married the first and second time. My father has all girls. No boy to carry on the Simpson name. And it is not likely that my sisters would honor our Dad by naming their child Simpson. I am the only weird one who likes weird names. So there you have it.
Eli Simpson Merritt.
It is not a hyphen, it is his middle name.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
God gave me a second chance
March 21, 2011
Around Noon I called LJ telling him I was having chest pains, I told him I think its just heart burn. As I was waiting in the parking lot for Dakota to get out of school it was getting worse. I came home took some heart burn medicine and sat on the couch. It wasn't getting any better, so I thought some fresh air might help. I take Dakota and Eli outside. I sit down with my crosswords and enjoy the air.
Then it hit me.
GASP GASP GASP
I suddenly couldn't breathe. Oh my God, am I dying?
GASP GASP
I try to pick up Eli and take him inside. I couldn't lift him. I start to panic, which makes my breathing worse. I call LJ, he is on the Skyway on his way. But it was gonna be a while. PANIC
I call my mom, she JUST walked thru the door from the beach, she was on her way.
LJ made it home first and took the kids, My mom ran me to the Hospital. St Pete General. I thought it might have had something to do with just having a baby, or it was just a bad case of heartburn.
I had an EKG done, it came back fine. I had a chest Xray done, it looked okay. I had a CT scan done. They found something. But they couldn't tell what. It was either Pneumonia or a blood clot. They had to keep me over night so they could do a VQ Scan in the morning to find out. They started me on antibiotics and shots in my belly to thin my blood. Treating me for both ailments just in case.
VQ Scan the next day showed it was pneumonia in my lower right quadrant of my lungs. They STOP the blood thinners and continue me on antibiotics. They want to keep me one more night just in case.
That night Pastor Art came to see me. he is the one who married LJ and I. It was nice to pray with him. Shortly after he left I was traumatized by the events that took place.
Right in front of my hospital door, across the hall was a loud man. He has visitors ALLLL day. And you could hear his booming voice all the way down the hall. Lord, please let him go to sleep soon, I am so tired! And he is so loud.
I am ashamed and sad.
He gets up out of his bed and collapses in the hall way. CODE BLUE CODE BLUE.
Oh My Gosh. Please don't die. I start to pray.
Nurses Doctors Everyone in the hall, stood around my door. I had front row seats to a show I didn't want to see. They worked on him for and hour. And that was it. He died. Right there. Right there in front of me. Right were, just a while earlier he was joking about the Lightening Games with his roommate. Right there where I had asked the Lord to make him be quiet. I had a gut ache. I called LJ and asked him to pray with me.
Then I sat and watched as his family approached the room. I watched their faces as they were told what happened. I wanted to look away. But I couldn't. I watched as they entered the room to see his lifeless body. I watched as his wife collapsed by his side.
I don't want to die here. I want to go home. I miss my kids.
March 24th -
I go home with the diagnosis of Pneumonia. I was so relieved. The doctor came in one more time before I left and gave me a script for two antibiotics. And then dropped the bomb. "Gall Stones"
Say what? No one ever mentioned Gall Stones?? He said they happen, and not to worry unless I am in extreme pain. Umm okay, but weird I have been here three days and no one mentioned them up until now. I told him I was confused. he walks out. Ummm, okay. Just send me home!
I ask the nurse to look at my chart and tell me about the Gall stones. He said there is NOTHING in my chart about that. I wonder if he read someone elses chart. Get me out of here.
Get home to a VERY happy family. Hugs and kisses all over the place. So glad to be home with my babies!
Lj fills my prescriptions. Comes home with just one. Where is the other one? Well the pharmacist says the two meds the doc gave me combined could have given me an instant heart attack. Say WHAT?? What the hell kind of hospital is this place??
March 26th 2011
LJ takes the kids for a walk. I wasn't feeling well still and wanted to stay inside. They aren't gone long, but while they were out. It hit me again.
GASP GASP GASP.
I run to the bedroom, crawl in bed.
GO AWAY< GO AWAY
I don't want to go back in there. Please Lord Make it go away!
LJ walks thru the door takes one look at me and says LETS GO, NOW!
We go to Morton Plant this time.
I need another CT scan which is risky, cuz I just had one and the radiation could kill me.
This phrase :could kill me:, is one I hear a LOT in the next month.
I decide to do it, cuz the benefits out weighed the risks.
The Doctor comes back, sits down. Its never good when they actually sit down.
Its NOT pneumonia.
Ok, so what is it?
Bilateral Pulmonary Embolisms in both lungs.
Ok so what is that?
Blood clots in each lung.
It could kill me.
TEARS. TEARS. TEARS.
They have to keep me. NO NO NO
I do not want to stay I have a new born baby, I cant stay again.
I have to stay, it could kill me.
They start the blood thinners - shots in my belly immediately.
WHY? LORD, WHY?
Another 4 days stay in the hospital. Lots of pain meds, lots of shots in my belly, lots of blood taking. I leave battered and VERY VERY bruised.
I come home still in pain for several weeks. Going to get blood drawn weekly which always ends in very huge bruises from the blood thinners.
I will be on those for a year. Which thankfully is far less then being on the for life.
I have to change my diet. I have to change my lifestyle.
But I am alive. And I am with my kids.
APRIL 9TH 2011
Back to the Emergency room, pain is so fierce I cant take another day.
They do an xray and still see fluid in my lungs. They want me to stay for observation. NO WAY. Send me home.
I go home with more pain meds.
April 12th 2011
I have a docs appt to check my levels. i tell her I am still in so much pain. She gives me a steroid shot.
RELIEF.
Its a miracle. I felt relief! I mean the pain was still there, but I could breathe and move and Oh Praise the Lord, i felt relief!
April 19th 2011
Today -
I feel better. I still feel pain. but I feel so much better. I almost feel normal.
But today I got my first real period. This is going to be a problem. I am bleeding like a deer got gutted in my bathroom. I have never seen so much blood. This is scary. But I know its because of the thinners. And I do have my 6 week check up with my OB next week. So I will check with him if I am okay. As long as I am not dizzy I am not worried. But dang, how can someone lose so much blood? Sorry I know that's gross, but hey, your the one still reading!! ;)
Thank you for all the continued support and prayers. I appreciate all the help everyone has given me in this time and I will pay it forward as much as I can. You are all a blessing to me!
Around Noon I called LJ telling him I was having chest pains, I told him I think its just heart burn. As I was waiting in the parking lot for Dakota to get out of school it was getting worse. I came home took some heart burn medicine and sat on the couch. It wasn't getting any better, so I thought some fresh air might help. I take Dakota and Eli outside. I sit down with my crosswords and enjoy the air.
Then it hit me.
GASP GASP GASP
I suddenly couldn't breathe. Oh my God, am I dying?
GASP GASP
I try to pick up Eli and take him inside. I couldn't lift him. I start to panic, which makes my breathing worse. I call LJ, he is on the Skyway on his way. But it was gonna be a while. PANIC
I call my mom, she JUST walked thru the door from the beach, she was on her way.
LJ made it home first and took the kids, My mom ran me to the Hospital. St Pete General. I thought it might have had something to do with just having a baby, or it was just a bad case of heartburn.
I had an EKG done, it came back fine. I had a chest Xray done, it looked okay. I had a CT scan done. They found something. But they couldn't tell what. It was either Pneumonia or a blood clot. They had to keep me over night so they could do a VQ Scan in the morning to find out. They started me on antibiotics and shots in my belly to thin my blood. Treating me for both ailments just in case.
VQ Scan the next day showed it was pneumonia in my lower right quadrant of my lungs. They STOP the blood thinners and continue me on antibiotics. They want to keep me one more night just in case.
That night Pastor Art came to see me. he is the one who married LJ and I. It was nice to pray with him. Shortly after he left I was traumatized by the events that took place.
Right in front of my hospital door, across the hall was a loud man. He has visitors ALLLL day. And you could hear his booming voice all the way down the hall. Lord, please let him go to sleep soon, I am so tired! And he is so loud.
I am ashamed and sad.
He gets up out of his bed and collapses in the hall way. CODE BLUE CODE BLUE.
Oh My Gosh. Please don't die. I start to pray.
Nurses Doctors Everyone in the hall, stood around my door. I had front row seats to a show I didn't want to see. They worked on him for and hour. And that was it. He died. Right there. Right there in front of me. Right were, just a while earlier he was joking about the Lightening Games with his roommate. Right there where I had asked the Lord to make him be quiet. I had a gut ache. I called LJ and asked him to pray with me.
Then I sat and watched as his family approached the room. I watched their faces as they were told what happened. I wanted to look away. But I couldn't. I watched as they entered the room to see his lifeless body. I watched as his wife collapsed by his side.
I don't want to die here. I want to go home. I miss my kids.
March 24th -
I go home with the diagnosis of Pneumonia. I was so relieved. The doctor came in one more time before I left and gave me a script for two antibiotics. And then dropped the bomb. "Gall Stones"
Say what? No one ever mentioned Gall Stones?? He said they happen, and not to worry unless I am in extreme pain. Umm okay, but weird I have been here three days and no one mentioned them up until now. I told him I was confused. he walks out. Ummm, okay. Just send me home!
I ask the nurse to look at my chart and tell me about the Gall stones. He said there is NOTHING in my chart about that. I wonder if he read someone elses chart. Get me out of here.
Get home to a VERY happy family. Hugs and kisses all over the place. So glad to be home with my babies!
Lj fills my prescriptions. Comes home with just one. Where is the other one? Well the pharmacist says the two meds the doc gave me combined could have given me an instant heart attack. Say WHAT?? What the hell kind of hospital is this place??
March 26th 2011
LJ takes the kids for a walk. I wasn't feeling well still and wanted to stay inside. They aren't gone long, but while they were out. It hit me again.
GASP GASP GASP.
I run to the bedroom, crawl in bed.
GO AWAY< GO AWAY
I don't want to go back in there. Please Lord Make it go away!
LJ walks thru the door takes one look at me and says LETS GO, NOW!
We go to Morton Plant this time.
I need another CT scan which is risky, cuz I just had one and the radiation could kill me.
This phrase :could kill me:, is one I hear a LOT in the next month.
I decide to do it, cuz the benefits out weighed the risks.
The Doctor comes back, sits down. Its never good when they actually sit down.
Its NOT pneumonia.
Ok, so what is it?
Bilateral Pulmonary Embolisms in both lungs.
Ok so what is that?
Blood clots in each lung.
It could kill me.
TEARS. TEARS. TEARS.
They have to keep me. NO NO NO
I do not want to stay I have a new born baby, I cant stay again.
I have to stay, it could kill me.
They start the blood thinners - shots in my belly immediately.
WHY? LORD, WHY?
Another 4 days stay in the hospital. Lots of pain meds, lots of shots in my belly, lots of blood taking. I leave battered and VERY VERY bruised.
I come home still in pain for several weeks. Going to get blood drawn weekly which always ends in very huge bruises from the blood thinners.
I will be on those for a year. Which thankfully is far less then being on the for life.
I have to change my diet. I have to change my lifestyle.
But I am alive. And I am with my kids.
APRIL 9TH 2011
Back to the Emergency room, pain is so fierce I cant take another day.
They do an xray and still see fluid in my lungs. They want me to stay for observation. NO WAY. Send me home.
I go home with more pain meds.
April 12th 2011
I have a docs appt to check my levels. i tell her I am still in so much pain. She gives me a steroid shot.
RELIEF.
Its a miracle. I felt relief! I mean the pain was still there, but I could breathe and move and Oh Praise the Lord, i felt relief!
April 19th 2011
Today -
I feel better. I still feel pain. but I feel so much better. I almost feel normal.
But today I got my first real period. This is going to be a problem. I am bleeding like a deer got gutted in my bathroom. I have never seen so much blood. This is scary. But I know its because of the thinners. And I do have my 6 week check up with my OB next week. So I will check with him if I am okay. As long as I am not dizzy I am not worried. But dang, how can someone lose so much blood? Sorry I know that's gross, but hey, your the one still reading!! ;)
Thank you for all the continued support and prayers. I appreciate all the help everyone has given me in this time and I will pay it forward as much as I can. You are all a blessing to me!
Welcome Eli Simpson Merritt!
March 7th 2011
I went to the doctors for my weekly check on the baby's progress. I was in bad pain, my back ached badly, I was having leg cramps and I had sciatica. I was hoping they would send me straight to the hospital. Dr. Javate was the doctor there that day. He was my fave! He said Wednesday that he would induce me and deliver. SOLD! Since I was already 100% effaced and 2cm dilated, I was ready!
March 9th, 2011
7:00am
Off to St Pete General. Got induced.
During the next few hours, several interns came in and asked if they could watch the birth. I give them permission. I could care less.
1:45pm
I am ready to push. Dr Javate shows up, interns are in place.
PUSHING...
Intern steps in to deliver. I think it was his first delivery. LJ says he was shaking to death.
Eli's head gets stuck. Finally it comes out. Eli's shoulder gets stuck.
PAIN
PAIN
PAIN
2:08pm
Eli Simpson Merritt is born.
He is bruised form getting stuck and he is BIG. Its finally over. He is here.
HAPPINESS
8lbs 12.7oz and 20 1/2 inches
I am in love, again.
He is beautiful!
I start breastfeeding immediately. Then after an hour they rush me off to get my tubal litigation. No more babies for this factory.
5:30pm
When I get down there they pump up my epidural with some heavy meds. And I go under the knife awake.
OH MY GOSH
I FEEL IT.
Mad rush from the nurses, thing on my face," breathe deep " is the last thing I heard, they knocked me out.
Wake up an hour later.
WHERE IS MY BABY?!?!
She is awake.
7:00pm
Sent me back up to my room. I have no idea which way is up. I feel confused and lost.
All my visitors went home. LJ and Dakota were left. Hugs and kisses and they left too.
Just me and Eli. Onward with the breastfeeding.
PAIN
CRAMPS
PAIN
Having babies is NO fun.
But the end result is SOOOOO worth it...
Mommy loves you Eli!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Publix has Angels? Which Aisle can I buy one of those?
I just had the most amazing experience, I feel like I am on a high from it.
So I went to Publix to pick up some stuff for the grill. I bought something that was buy one get one and it was the wrong thing, but the nice manager ( whom I have NEVER seen there before) gave it to me anyways. I went out to my car to put the stuff in my trunk. A man came up on a bike and asked for 45 cents so he could ride his bike down to get a cheeseburger from McDonalds. I checked my purse, but I had no change. ( We had thrown my change in a fountain the night prior.) I said I am so sorry , I dont ever carry cash. he said thank you anyways and pedaled to the front of the store. I put my groceries away and got in the car. I got a tugging in my chest. I call this CONVICTION. I watched the man for a few minutes. I saw him pick a cigarette butt off the ground, examine it and put it in his pocket. I saw him looking around for more. Found one and asked someone to light it for him. More tugging in chest. I struggled. I wanted to get him a sandwich. I sat there for another minute - though it seemed like eternity. He sat there staring off blankly into the crowd of people shopping, going in and out of the store. I called L.J.
"Honey?"
"Yeah?"
"A man just asked me for 49 cents for a burger, may I buy him a sandwich I feel extremly convicted."
"Of course"
"Ok call you in a bit"
"ok love ya"
"love ya too"
"bye"
I got back out of my car and headed towards him.
I dont know why, but I had tears in my eyes, I was kinda scared. I asked him, "May I please buy you a sandwich?"
"umm, okay"
"will you come with me so you can pick it out"
"I dont want my bike to get stolen, its okay..."
" I will go get you one, what do you like"
" I like anything"
"ok be right back"
"really? thank you."
I go back inside, order him a sub, get EVERYTHING I can jam on it. And go get him the biggest reddest apple I can find and head to the front. I saw a rack of chips so I was trying to decide what to get. The manager who gave me the buy one get one was standing there and said, "Oh back again?"
"There is a man outside who is very hungry, so I am buying him a sandwich."
"And you know this because?"
"Because he asked me for 49 cents.""
"Really, he says , huh."
So I go into the check out line. Waiting my turn. The manager comes up after a few minutes and says to the cashier, do not ring up the sub. I looked at him in disbelief, " Thank you"
The cashier did as she was asked and I paid 2 dollars. I went up to the manager again to thank him again for his kindness. His reply... "Thank YOU." I smiled and happily went out to the man.
He was there waiting, still on his bike. I Said here ya go, and I even got you an apple. A smile.
He touched my arm and kindly said "Thank you so much."
I said "God Bless you, and keep you safe."
"Really, Ma'am, Thank you"
"Stay blessed"
I turned around and started back to the car. I turned around again to smile and wave good bye and he disappeared. I mean like in spooky disappear. He was gone, no where in the parking lot, no where in sight. Where the heck did he go? Goosebumps - Jesus Bumps.
Was that a test from the Lord? I will never know. But it was a blessing to me to help someone and to bless them. Praise your name Lord. And thank you for using me as your tool on this earth. I really hope that man has a great night and a full belly.
So I went to Publix to pick up some stuff for the grill. I bought something that was buy one get one and it was the wrong thing, but the nice manager ( whom I have NEVER seen there before) gave it to me anyways. I went out to my car to put the stuff in my trunk. A man came up on a bike and asked for 45 cents so he could ride his bike down to get a cheeseburger from McDonalds. I checked my purse, but I had no change. ( We had thrown my change in a fountain the night prior.) I said I am so sorry , I dont ever carry cash. he said thank you anyways and pedaled to the front of the store. I put my groceries away and got in the car. I got a tugging in my chest. I call this CONVICTION. I watched the man for a few minutes. I saw him pick a cigarette butt off the ground, examine it and put it in his pocket. I saw him looking around for more. Found one and asked someone to light it for him. More tugging in chest. I struggled. I wanted to get him a sandwich. I sat there for another minute - though it seemed like eternity. He sat there staring off blankly into the crowd of people shopping, going in and out of the store. I called L.J.
"Honey?"
"Yeah?"
"A man just asked me for 49 cents for a burger, may I buy him a sandwich I feel extremly convicted."
"Of course"
"Ok call you in a bit"
"ok love ya"
"love ya too"
"bye"
I got back out of my car and headed towards him.
I dont know why, but I had tears in my eyes, I was kinda scared. I asked him, "May I please buy you a sandwich?"
"umm, okay"
"will you come with me so you can pick it out"
"I dont want my bike to get stolen, its okay..."
" I will go get you one, what do you like"
" I like anything"
"ok be right back"
"really? thank you."
I go back inside, order him a sub, get EVERYTHING I can jam on it. And go get him the biggest reddest apple I can find and head to the front. I saw a rack of chips so I was trying to decide what to get. The manager who gave me the buy one get one was standing there and said, "Oh back again?"
"There is a man outside who is very hungry, so I am buying him a sandwich."
"And you know this because?"
"Because he asked me for 49 cents.""
"Really, he says , huh."
So I go into the check out line. Waiting my turn. The manager comes up after a few minutes and says to the cashier, do not ring up the sub. I looked at him in disbelief, " Thank you"
The cashier did as she was asked and I paid 2 dollars. I went up to the manager again to thank him again for his kindness. His reply... "Thank YOU." I smiled and happily went out to the man.
He was there waiting, still on his bike. I Said here ya go, and I even got you an apple. A smile.
He touched my arm and kindly said "Thank you so much."
I said "God Bless you, and keep you safe."
"Really, Ma'am, Thank you"
"Stay blessed"
I turned around and started back to the car. I turned around again to smile and wave good bye and he disappeared. I mean like in spooky disappear. He was gone, no where in the parking lot, no where in sight. Where the heck did he go? Goosebumps - Jesus Bumps.
Was that a test from the Lord? I will never know. But it was a blessing to me to help someone and to bless them. Praise your name Lord. And thank you for using me as your tool on this earth. I really hope that man has a great night and a full belly.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Car Accident
Friday, October 15th, 2010.
This was the day I was the most scared I have EVER been in my life.
The day started great, we went to the beach because we had tons of family in town. Now, I wasn't supposed to go, because the day before Dakota was diagnosed with a ruptured ear drum. And he was supposed to keep his ear dry for a few days. But I never listen. So we went anyways. We had a great day, splashing in the gulf and then back to the pool. We had to get Skylar home because it was her dads weekend so we left around 3:30. I figured this would give us enough time to get her home and showered before he came at 5pm.
We were traveling north on Pasadena. And for those of you who know me, you know my fear of bridges. I hate them. I constantly have dreams that I am falling off of a bridge in my car and I have to somehow get my kids out without drowning. I know this is awful, but it is my BIGGEST fear in life.
So we are starting to go over the bridge on Pasadena. I am trying to pay attention.
I hear a loud Screeeeeeeeeeching of tires. The SUV in front of me has slammed on his brakes. I have plenty of room to slam on mine. But...
My car keeps sliding. We were on the metal part of the drawbridge and we slide...
I knew we were going to impact the car in front, so I made a choice.
I swerved into the right lane.
Hit once, car pushed into guard rail. My worst nightmare... OMGosh will it come true?? We were facing the water, I instantly looked back at Kota, his neck is not strong....
Hit again. My head slams against the head rest. OWWWWWW. Dear Lord just get me off this bridge.
The second hit, pushed us back even with the road. I pushed the gas petal and made my way off the bridge. Panicked and crying I kept asking Skylar and Dakota is there were okay, did they have owwies? Everyone seemed fine, but my head was killing me. The woman who hit me pulled up next to me in her fancy SUV.
My first call was to LJ who had left 5 minutes before me. TURN AROUND we were just hit, I am so scared.
My second call was to 911. I was screaming crying and in a panic. The woman next to me rolled down her window, are you okay. Me - I hit my head pretty hard. She rolls her window back up and pulls up away from me.
Paramedics arrive, police arrive, LJ arrives. My head was spinning. Skylar was fine she said nothing hurt, she played her DS thru the whole accident. Thank God. Dakota cant tell me if he is okay. Though he appears to be fine, I still am paranoid about his neck. The ambulance takes Dakota and I to Bayfront. The woman drives away fine with a small dent in her front bumper, claiming to have errands to run. Yes, Seriously.
My grandparents came and picked up Skylar so she could go to her Dads as planned. I checked on her all weekend, she was fine.
At the hospital, LJ, his mom and dad and my mom all show up. I demanded they check out Dakota first. He was fine. no injuries. I was having cramping from the seat belt. Off to ultrasound with LJ. Little Eli had his hands behind his head all relaxed. Glad someone is relaxed i say to the tech.
All in all we are all okay. I have a huge Goose Egg behind my ear where I hit the head rest. Some back pain. But I am alive and I didn't face my worst fear. We made it off the bridge. My car was totalled. Undrivable.
Reality sets in. What am I going to do.
I called in my claim to my insurance just to find out, that my "full coverage" did not include collision. They will not cover my damage. Nor will the woman who hit me. They said it was my fault. My car was "out of control". I am stuck. I still owe about 10 payments on the car, and it isn't drivable. Seriously?
We went through several options, we tried to trade it in. Didn't work out. Tried to look up cars on Craigs List, didn't work out. took the car to our family mechanic - who we trust will all we have...
He tells us, that where the frame is bent, isn't really too bad. All we have to do is pull out the fender, and it will be okay for short trips. No highway. No driving over 45. No one sits on that side of the car.
If we get hit in that same spot it could be fatal. EEK. But it is fixable.
Today is Tuesday, October 19th, 2010.
LJ fixed the car, well kinda. It drives. It isn't pretty but it works. Everyone who knows me, knows how much I love my car. I am emotionally attached. and so very excited it is still mine and it still drives.
Praise the Lord for small miracles.
The accident:
The fix by LJ:
Please let this be a lesson, please check your insurance and make sure you have collision. It will save you THOUSANDS in the long run.
Praise the Lord for our lives. Praise the Lord for an answer, and quickly to our prayers.
This was the day I was the most scared I have EVER been in my life.
The day started great, we went to the beach because we had tons of family in town. Now, I wasn't supposed to go, because the day before Dakota was diagnosed with a ruptured ear drum. And he was supposed to keep his ear dry for a few days. But I never listen. So we went anyways. We had a great day, splashing in the gulf and then back to the pool. We had to get Skylar home because it was her dads weekend so we left around 3:30. I figured this would give us enough time to get her home and showered before he came at 5pm.
We were traveling north on Pasadena. And for those of you who know me, you know my fear of bridges. I hate them. I constantly have dreams that I am falling off of a bridge in my car and I have to somehow get my kids out without drowning. I know this is awful, but it is my BIGGEST fear in life.
So we are starting to go over the bridge on Pasadena. I am trying to pay attention.
I hear a loud Screeeeeeeeeeching of tires. The SUV in front of me has slammed on his brakes. I have plenty of room to slam on mine. But...
My car keeps sliding. We were on the metal part of the drawbridge and we slide...
I knew we were going to impact the car in front, so I made a choice.
I swerved into the right lane.
BAM.
Hit once, car pushed into guard rail. My worst nightmare... OMGosh will it come true?? We were facing the water, I instantly looked back at Kota, his neck is not strong....
BAM.
Hit again. My head slams against the head rest. OWWWWWW. Dear Lord just get me off this bridge.
The second hit, pushed us back even with the road. I pushed the gas petal and made my way off the bridge. Panicked and crying I kept asking Skylar and Dakota is there were okay, did they have owwies? Everyone seemed fine, but my head was killing me. The woman who hit me pulled up next to me in her fancy SUV.
My first call was to LJ who had left 5 minutes before me. TURN AROUND we were just hit, I am so scared.
My second call was to 911. I was screaming crying and in a panic. The woman next to me rolled down her window, are you okay. Me - I hit my head pretty hard. She rolls her window back up and pulls up away from me.
Paramedics arrive, police arrive, LJ arrives. My head was spinning. Skylar was fine she said nothing hurt, she played her DS thru the whole accident. Thank God. Dakota cant tell me if he is okay. Though he appears to be fine, I still am paranoid about his neck. The ambulance takes Dakota and I to Bayfront. The woman drives away fine with a small dent in her front bumper, claiming to have errands to run. Yes, Seriously.
My grandparents came and picked up Skylar so she could go to her Dads as planned. I checked on her all weekend, she was fine.
At the hospital, LJ, his mom and dad and my mom all show up. I demanded they check out Dakota first. He was fine. no injuries. I was having cramping from the seat belt. Off to ultrasound with LJ. Little Eli had his hands behind his head all relaxed. Glad someone is relaxed i say to the tech.
All in all we are all okay. I have a huge Goose Egg behind my ear where I hit the head rest. Some back pain. But I am alive and I didn't face my worst fear. We made it off the bridge. My car was totalled. Undrivable.
Reality sets in. What am I going to do.
I called in my claim to my insurance just to find out, that my "full coverage" did not include collision. They will not cover my damage. Nor will the woman who hit me. They said it was my fault. My car was "out of control". I am stuck. I still owe about 10 payments on the car, and it isn't drivable. Seriously?
We went through several options, we tried to trade it in. Didn't work out. Tried to look up cars on Craigs List, didn't work out. took the car to our family mechanic - who we trust will all we have...
He tells us, that where the frame is bent, isn't really too bad. All we have to do is pull out the fender, and it will be okay for short trips. No highway. No driving over 45. No one sits on that side of the car.
If we get hit in that same spot it could be fatal. EEK. But it is fixable.
Today is Tuesday, October 19th, 2010.
LJ fixed the car, well kinda. It drives. It isn't pretty but it works. Everyone who knows me, knows how much I love my car. I am emotionally attached. and so very excited it is still mine and it still drives.
Praise the Lord for small miracles.
The accident:
The fix by LJ:
Please let this be a lesson, please check your insurance and make sure you have collision. It will save you THOUSANDS in the long run.
Praise the Lord for our lives. Praise the Lord for an answer, and quickly to our prayers.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Tampa Bays Annual BUDDY WALK - Raising Awareness for Down Syndrome
This is our 6th Year attending. This is our 4th Year winning a trophy for our shirts. YAY! We got first place this year. God gave me a mind of a genius, haha, just kidding. But he did deliver the idea to me and I ran with it.
So, the idea behind the shirt?
Dakota is going through this "thing". When he gets over stimulated he has these episodes. These episodes look very similar to seizures. We only know they are NOT seizures because we had him tested. Twice. His body stiffens his eyes roll back and he looks, well, just weird. We have gotten pretty used to them. but they happen everywhere, while I am grocery shopping, while we are dining out, when we are visiting friends, when we are at playgrounds. And people stare. They stare HARD. Some of them point and whisper. Some of them look appalled. It makes me feel like a circus freak show. And it isn't fair to my child. And I so badly want to walk up to them and say QUIT STARING, JUST ASK! Ask me what my son has, don't ask me what is wrong with him.
So, that saying, made it to the front of the shirt. IN Very Large PRINT. So those who stare can read it clearly. And on the back, are some of the top things I get asked, when they do ask.
Yes, Dakota has Down Syndrome
No, it is not a disease.
Yes, he is handicapped.
No, he is not retarded.
Yes, he is a sweet boy.
No, he is not sweet all the time.
Yes, we are very blessed.
No, we have no regrets.
No, it is not a disease.
Yes, he is handicapped.
No, he is not retarded.
Yes, he is a sweet boy.
No, he is not sweet all the time.
Yes, we are very blessed.
No, we have no regrets.
You would be amazed at what people have come up and said or asked me. And my son is only 5. Imagine the people who have children with Down Syndrome who are much older. They have had many more years to be offended. When I told a few people about the design for this year, they said, "Well aren't you afraid of offending people?" UMMMM, Are they NOT offending me by staring?? Hmm, just saying...
So, this year we had a minor dilemma with our shirts. The woman who usually does them for us - cancelled. Which was not really a big deal, until it came down to crunch time and I had no idea what I was going to do.
This is when the Good Lord stepped in. Thank you Heavenly Father, I love you !!
An old friend of mine, with whom I haven't spoken to in over 6 years, popped up on my facebook. Saying he wanted to help. Wouldn't you know this man orchestrated a whole deal to get us shirts and have them paid for. He found people who didn't even know our family or know about Down Syndrome, or know about the Buddy Walk, to just donate money. Thank God for having people like that still out there. So a big shout out to all those who assisted us in our shirts this year!
The shirts came out awesome, but do you know what is more awesome??
Dakotas Dream Team DOUBLED in size this year!
So, this year we had a minor dilemma with our shirts. The woman who usually does them for us - cancelled. Which was not really a big deal, until it came down to crunch time and I had no idea what I was going to do.
This is when the Good Lord stepped in. Thank you Heavenly Father, I love you !!
An old friend of mine, with whom I haven't spoken to in over 6 years, popped up on my facebook. Saying he wanted to help. Wouldn't you know this man orchestrated a whole deal to get us shirts and have them paid for. He found people who didn't even know our family or know about Down Syndrome, or know about the Buddy Walk, to just donate money. Thank God for having people like that still out there. So a big shout out to all those who assisted us in our shirts this year!
The shirts came out awesome, but do you know what is more awesome??
Dakotas Dream Team DOUBLED in size this year!
Look at us all! What an impact we made! All of these peoples hearts have been softened to Dakota and the Down Syndrome cross he has to bear! How glorious!
If it weren't for all the people in this picture, I do not know how I would survive. They are AMAZING friends through and through! Thank you all for supporting us!
My Grandparents even came! They had just drove all the way down from Massachusetts, the previous night, Were exhausted, but still managed to make it bright and early the next morning! Thanks Nana and Papa L.
People say Ignorance is Bliss. But its really not. Its shameful. You know what is bliss??
Having Dakota in my life.
Thank you God for choosing me to be his mom. I wont let You down!
UPDATE: We made it into the Clearwater Gazette!
http://www.clearwatergazette.com/20101014/buddy.html
Check us out!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
It's a ..... BABY!
Yesterday, October 4th, L.J. and I found out the sex of our baby.
Here is what happened - you know it wasn't just as easy as that, right?!?!
L.J. had to work that day, so my mom got to go with me. She says, " I am so excited I could pee my pants." Yes, she really did say that. Yes I really was embarrassed! We went to the imaging place, because my doctors office doesn't do it there. The nice woman who did the sonogram was so kind. Especially with my mother there jumping around like she had ants in her pants. She told me as I laid down that I am not far along enough, and she may not be able to tell the sex. UGH, disappointment, as this is the only sonogram my insurance will pay for. I told her, " I will seriously have a melt down on this table, please try hard!" Then, I added, " No, seriously, I am not kidding." So she is looking around and says, " Ugh, the umbilical cord is in between its legs, I wont be able to tell." UGH, disappointment. So, she gets a call. She says she has to take it because some important stuff was going on. When she got up, I looked at my mom. I took my hand and mushed and pushed and poked my belly. Please, baby, cooperate! She came back from her call, and tried one more time. AHA, she says. Aha, what?!?!?!
Sono Tech: "I see it"
Me: See what????
Sono Tech: I see it!
My mom: OMGosh!
Me: WHAT?!?!?!
Sono Tech: Its a penis!
Me: Praise The Lord!
Mom: ~crying~
Me: ~Tears of Joy~
Mom: I KNEW it!
Me: YESSSSSSSSSS
Sono Tech: Its def a boy!
So there we go...
L.J. and I are having a BOY!
His name will be Eli Simpson Merritt
Eli, because we wanted something biblical, and because of my Mom of course, Elizabeth.
Simpson, because my Dad has no boys, and we wanted to honor him and my grandfather by passing down the name.
Well, Eli, it was so nice to see you. I cant wait for you to see me.
Oh also, they upped my due date to March 10th, because he was measuring big. They said he was measuring 17 weeks and 4 days. I thought I was 16 weeks and 3 days. Interesting. Either I am having a huge baby, or I was further along then I suspected.
So there ya have it!
It's a boy!
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