My mom chose Life!

My Husband - 31 days of Joyful Blessings

My Husband.

Ever wonder where I met my husband?
On the Internet.
Yep, we are one of those couples.

I had just started working for a new Internet company. Where we scoured the Internet for hours, built websites and did some online shopping. It just seemed natural to look for dates as well.

Whats funny is that my husband was so annoying on the Internet, I actually had deleted him from my friends list a few times because he was weird. I am completely serious! He lived with his step mom and two step sisters and they would change their font to a rainbow color and when he popped up it would be in rainbow lettering. I was like, what is up with this dude.. What guy writes in rainbow? HAHA
Then he tells me, he thinks he is good looking because his sisters told him so... Ummm, wait, what??
Delete. Delete. Delete.
Then he pops up and tells me he is moving back to New York. Umm, ok. Bye. Delete.
Then he pops up and tells me he stayed. OY!!

So, I was headed to a birthday party at some club for a friend on a particular night in December, and he popped up and asked if I wanted to meet. I figured, well if I don't like him, I can use the excuse of the party to leave. No problem!! So I said, lets do it! Lets meet up!

I drove to his house around 8pm. I wasn't nervous, because honestly, I figured I would be leaving in a few minutes. I had no high hopes with this one.

I stayed 4 hours. I missed the party.

The second he walked out the door, something in me stirred. I felt like a school girl. He wasn't perfect, but I loved that. He was funny and charming. I felt like I knew him forever and I felt like we never stopped talking. There was no awkwardness and it just felt so natural. We sat outside under the stars on a porch swing and chatted the night away...

I left wondering if he felt the spark, the connection that I felt. I wondered if I would ever see him again...

He called the very next day.

And the rest is history.... Noooooo just kidding, there is more...

He moved in with me about a month later. But I was living in an apartment owned by my ex husbands mother. So my ex was always around. It was hard on LJ to have that lingering baggage nearby, but instead of talking about it, LJ up and left. He wrote me a letter. A letter? I was infuriated.  He ended up moving back to New York. I thought I would never see him again.

That was in early February.

Some day in early April, a familiar name popped up on my computer at work.
It was LJ. My heart stopped.

He wanted to call me. And he did. I held back tears as he told me he was glad he left, but he did miss my daughter and I. He told me how well things were going and how he still wanted to be friends. I just agreed and let him go...

Later that night he called me at home, in tears. He wanted to come back, he missed us so bad, he made a huge mistake - yadda yadda....

Both of us in tears opted to try again.

He moved back a few weeks later, and we got our own apartment. Away from the ex's.

And the rest is history -  for real this time.

I knew from the moment I met him, that there was something. Something I cant put my finger on. But that spark, that flame, the thing they always talk about in movies, I had that! We have that! I love him as much today as the first moment I met him. And its exciting!!

Yes he irritates me, yes he makes stupid decisions, yes he is weird. But he is perfectly imperfect, and that's what I love.

I am so blessed to have found him. And I love him to the moon and back!

I do not Suffer...

Whats your Super Power?

My Parents - 31 days of Joyful Blessings

Day 2 -

My Mom and Dad.
They are a huge part of becoming the woman, sister, mother, wife, that I am today.

I dont know where I would be with out them! I feel so blessed that God choose this particular set of parents for me. I am their only child together. But I was meant to be here. I was meant to be theirs.

And even though I was raised in a single mother home, I still learned important things from each side of my family. And for that I will always be eternally grateful.
I can only hope that I can instill all the love and affection into my children that was given to me.

I hear stories from friends about how they hate their parents, or never even knew them. I cant even begin to imagine my life with out my mom or my dad.

My mom is seriously my best friend! We may not always agree, but when it all comes down to it, I would not trust anyone else with my secrets or problems. She is my rock! She always seems to have the answer. She always seems to know what to do or what to say. She is strong and independent and so very amazing. She works her butt off for us kids! And now her home is almost an empty nest. Which I know she is secretly dreading. Because she is that awesome of a mom.  She treats my kids as if her own, but with out over stepping those "Grammie" boundaries, and I appreciate that!! I love you Mommy!!

My dad is a huge part of my life, even if I dont talk to him often. He is half of who I am. And I love him. He has some faults but there will never be a day that I dont love and appreciate him.  I know that he knows I love him so much and will be there for him if he should ever need me. Hopefully one day soon, he can meet his youngest grandson and re-meet his other grandkids as well....

And I can write this post without writing about my step parents...

My step mother who was always a driving force of my laughter when I visited my dad. She was wild and crazy and could sing the heck out of a Patsy Cline song! She was a crazy driver, but always had my best interests in mind. Even if it made me sit at a table to eat my green beans - that I used to hate. Or ot buy me that cool flashy toy cuz I pitched a fit.  She was always there for me, and on my side and I appreciate that!

My step dad. I cant believe he stuck around! LOL!!  When he started dating my mom he had to deal with my teenage angst. Poor guy! But he has become such a father figure to me. If I ever needed anything he was there. He is such a kind hearted man! And my kids take to him like glue! I know that if I ever needed ANYTHING, he would find a way to make it happen.  He is by no means a perfect man, but he is a perfect dad! And I mean that! So thank you for all the times you had to put up with my antics. Thank you for caring enough about me to make me think of you as a father. There arent enough words of appreciation for you!

Down Syndrome Awareness month!

Its October!!

Its Down Syndrome Awareness month!

Here is your super cute photo of the day!!

My Faith - 31 days of Joyful Blessings

Welcome!

Today starts 31 days of Joyful Blessings, where I will be sharing with you the blessings that have changed my life...

I cant possibly start off this journey with out naming #1 most important factor in my life: My faith.

Here is my story:

I grew up in a catholic family, I went to catholic schools. But I never really knew what it was about. I never really took it seriously. I hated going to church - it was so boring. I just went and "existed".  I sang the hymns, I stood, kneeled and sat when supposed to. But there was never any feeling in it. And then my mom got into a horrible relationship. I feel like my life took a sharp left. He abused her... bad... and I watched. I felt like God wasn't there. He wasn't watching over us. He was letting my mom die inside. I hated it, and I hated Him for allowing it. I didn't understand there was a bigger plan working.
Sometimes I like to look back and think, wow, look at what we over came! Its astounding sometimes.
I lived my life as an atheist for a very long time. I had heated battles against Christian friends. And felt like I won them, because I shut them up, they always stopped arguing. But I didn't realize then, that I didn't win and they didn't stop because they had no more to say. I learned that sometimes, as a Christian - you have to digress. I know and understand that now.
Back in 2008, I was going through a very tough time. Financially, mentally, physically. I felt like a no one. A nothing. My husband was out of work. We were so poor. We were about to lose our apartment, we had no food, our electric was getting turned off. We were in a bad spot. I was fighting with my mom, my boyfriend, my kids. This is not where I thought my life was headed. I was so depressed. I thought, if I leave maybe everyone will be happy...
I turned on my internet to check my email to turn on a vacation response, as it was getting shut off the next day, and there was an email from a  friend.  It was simple, just a few words..

"Was thinking of you and felt that I should ask you to come to church."

Keeping in mind, this person never emailed me. We talked on the phone, saw each other in person, but never emailed. Keeping in mind that this person has asked me to church a million times since high school, and stopped asking years ago... Keeping in mind this is the person I would argue faith about all the time.

I laughed at the email and shut off the computer. I started at the screen for a while. and my laughter turned into tears. My boyfriend came out and asked what was wrong. I asked him if he wanted to go to church. He said, "Sure"

I turned back to the computer screen, took a deep breath and turned it back on. I hit reply and entered - Yes. and hit send.

We attended church that Sunday and I didn't burn up in flames! ( I joked about this for months)
Something stirred in me. I cried. A lot.  I felt my burdens and shame leave.

We went back again and again. The first Sunday in June, we attended as usual and the Pastor had spoke his prayer to recommit ourselves to the Lord. I spoke it in my heart and on my lips. And then he asked for those who spoke it - to stand up and profess it to the world. I was thinking NO WAY am I standing up in front of all these people!!  He was scanning the crowd, people were standing left and right. Then the Pastor looked right at me. I felt his eyes burning in my soul! How does he know???  I still sat, he went through the crowd some more, and as he started to look back my way - the Lord gave me a not so gentle push. I jumped out of my seat like a rocket. My Pastor acknowledged me and I collapsed in my seat in a bundle of tears. All the weight of the world left me that day. And I have never felt the same.

Even as hard as it gets, I will never be the same.

As for the rest of the story?

My boyfriend, L.J. and I went to the church for financial help. And we got way more help then that. An associate pastor, agreed to marry us - FREE. In a few weeks!
Marriage! YIKES!!!
His only request was that L.J. live separately from us until the wedding, as God intended it to be. To show we were serious about our commitment.
And we did.
L.J. lived in a place called Calvary house for a month.
We got married December 21, 2009, at my step dads restaurant. In front of family and friends. and of course... God, Himself.

I got a new life that year. Jesus wiped my slate clean with the spilling of his blood a long time ago. But I never felt the impact until then. I never felt thankful until then.

I cannot wait until the day we go to our real home. In heaven.
Wont you join me there?
Its never too late!